Sometimes things can get so out of hand. At some point, you are so angry against him that you forget what the argument was about or who started first. Then, without the communication skills to resolve it locally, both parties get to feel ugly. Only when you are alone you have time to think. If like me, you cry in the comfort of your pillow, here are some ways to feel good again after a quarrel with your boyfriend.
Quarrel is communication
Communication with your partner is very important and I learned that quarrel can play a crucial role in relationships. Disagreements become occasions for the relationship to grow because we get to learn more about our partners and by can find ways to make the relationship even stronger. So be grateful for the arguments because they are the things that will keep your relationship.
Quarrels keep the relationship going
I used to think that the perfect relationship would be living a fairy tale idealists with no arguments or disagreements. Cinderella and Prince Charming never disagree in any history books I read. Then I had a very friendly and pleasant relationship with my ex-boyfriend when we have never played even once during the entire two years we were together. In retrospect, it was not everything was rosy and perfect, but there were many unspoken resentments toward each other that we did not know how to communicate or just did not bother. May occasionally disagree on something could have kept the relationship alive.
What a mistake women make?
It is normal for couples to have disagreements and skirmishes. Even best friends disagree sometimes. The arguments can get pretty heated and I’m sure it’s very easy to stay angry at the end of the day. However, women make the mistake of going home feeling lousy and then play the victim.
The spirit finds examples and reasons for what you believe. If you see yourself as the victim and the spirit will come with all possible means to prove it. However, remember that there are always two sides to every story. Rather than putting all the blame on him to cause your anger and hurt, take responsibility for his own feelings. You do not have to wait for him to do something to feel better.
What can you do to start feeling better?
The beauty of every uncomfortable situation is that you get to see what you do not want and also what you want instead. When you feel lousy, it’s easy to get stuck in anger, pain or frustration. By staying so focused on these negative emotions that we do not, we forget that we can now decide what we want instead of feeling because of the contrast that was created by the argument. Choose to focus on what you want to feel instead is not always easy because it is not our instinct to do so. However, this choice is useful and necessary to provide relief and help you feel better. What you put your attention multiplies thinking “I want to feel better” will inevitably bring you ways to feel better. Take responsibility for how you feel and make the right choice to feel better regardless of what he does.
Sueyan Shuyan Lim is the co-founder of this site where she and her sister share relationship advice for young women. Have a wonderful romantic relationship takes a conscious effort and constantly make the decision to put your happiness first. You are wonderful and deserve to be treated as the desirable woman you are.
Take responsibility for feeling good, no matter what he says or does not feel puts you in a place of power instead of blame. Click here to learn how to love yourself more every day so you can feel good in any situation with your boyfriend. This is an ongoing process of discovering what your needs, to communicate to your partner and then get them to enjoy a fulfilled love relationship lasting. The journey will be difficult but very rewarding.